Archive of ‘Uncategorized’ category

How to Talk to Your Kids about Race and Racism

child at protest

 
There might be a misconception that children are too young to learn about race. However, it is usually adults who feel uncomfortable talking about racial differences with their child because it may “put ideas in their heads.” Or other adults may feel that children cannot see or understand race because they are so young, which is why conversations about race and racism go unexplored. 

  • Children learn most of their information through direct teachings and modeling from their parents, which is why it is important that parents have meaningful conversations with their children about these issues. 
  • There is an overwhelming amount of research showing that children are not only able to recognize race during infancy, but they also develop racial biases and prejudices between the ages of three and five. 
  • Children are not colorblind but rather are blank canvases. They cannot develop biases and prejudices about race until they are specifically taught to do so. 

So what can parents do to start open and honest conversations about race with their children? 

Parents, be aware of your own biases 

The first step parents can take is to understand their own implicit and explicit biases. Explore how these inclinations can mislead or misdirect your children’s perceptions of difference, race, and diversity. Instead of waiting for others to teach you, take it up on yourself to listen, learn, and ask questions about how your long-held beliefs may be creating barriers and influencing judgment. 
Some reflective questions to ask yourself: How do I navigate race ? How do I discuss race in front of my family ? How do I own up to my mistakes of racism ? 

Use books 

Books are a collaborative and educational resource for you and your child to have direct conversations about race. Stories connect the readers to the information being told, whether it may be about how we celebrate different holidays, honor people of color, or cherish moments in history. They can also be stepping stones to ask thought provoking questions like: What was the story was about ?  How were the subjects in the story treated ? Were there themes of discrimination, prejudice, or privilege present ? How does this story relate to my own understanding of race ? Do not underestimate children and their ability to understand and absorb these complex and important issues. 

Recommended Books: 

  • All the Colors We are (Age 3-6)
  • Don’t Touch my Hair (Age 4-7)
  • Mixed (Age 4-8)
  • Let’s Talk about Race (Age 4-8)
  • The Proudest Blue (Age 4-8)
  • New Kid (Age 8-12)
  • Young Water Protectors (Age 9-12) 

Teach your child to own up to their mistakes 

Inevitably, your child will say or do something explicitly or implicitly racist and in these moments you can teach your child a valuable lesson about responsibility. This can equip them with the tools to learn and understand the harm that was done and what they can do to repair it. There may be an inclination for your child to defend, excuse, or blame others for these mistakes; however, this is an opportunity to teach your child how they can repair ruptures using remorse and self-responsibility. 

Ask your child how they feel – directly 

Having direct heart to heart conversations about how your child perceives race and racism can create dialogues about what they are seeing, thinking, and believing. Over time, these conversations will evoke trust, acceptance, and understanding between you and your child. By no means is navigating race and racism easy. However, talking openly with your child and giving them a space they can be curious, will reinforce the belief that they can come to their parents to process and explore these difficult topics. 

Written by: Geetha Pokala, LPC-Associate, Supervised by Kirby Schroeder LPC-S, LMFT-S

Meet Geetha!


How Blue Light Affects Sleep and Ways to Create Healthy Sleep Hygiene

It is no surprise to all of us that electronic devices play a fundamental role in our daily lives and even more so with the pandemic. We use electronics so much in our day-to-day including, but not limited to, communicating with friends and families, online gaming, virtual school, and work meetings. Nonetheless, technology is here to stay. However, one of the most concerning parts of electronic use is how it interferes with our sleep. Research shows that 90% of Americans report using a computer or smartphone device in their bedroom within an hour of trying to fall asleep. 

Blue Light 

Not only can electronics impede the amount of sleep we get per night, but these glowing screens also emit blue light. “Blue light is a short wavelength type of light that promotes alertness and performance” as noted by the Sleep Foundation. This blue light can also suppress production of melatonin, which is responsible for feelings of sleepiness. Being exposed to blue light during the day can provide energy, improvements in mood, and concentration. Yet the opposite effects occur when we are exposed to blue light in the evening and nighttime as our circadian rhythm (sleep-wake cycle) is disrupted causing us to feel less sleepy than normal at bedtime. 

Sources of Blue Light 

  • Fluorescent lights 
  • LED lights 
  • Smartphones 
  • Televisions 
  • Computer Screens 
  • Tablets 
  • E-Readers 
  • Video game consoles 

What is Sleep Hygiene

Sleep hygiene focuses on healthy sleeping habits during the day and when you go to bed to promote consistent and uninterrupted sleep. What you do during the day, not just an hour before bedtime, affects how well you sleep. Improving your sleep hygiene, can also positively impact your physical and mental health, productivity, and daily habits.  

Creating Healthy Sleep Hygiene

  • Minimize day time naps 
  • Cut down on caffeine during the afternoon and evening 
  • Wake up at the same time no matter when you fall asleep
  • Set up your bedroom for sleep (comfortable pillows/ mattress, cool temperatures, block out light, noise machine, essential oil diffuser) 
  • Be careful what you watch on TV and how that affects your stress level before your fall asleep
  • Unplug electronics at least 60 minutes before bedtime 
  • Wind down and do something relaxing an hour before sleep 
  • Only use your bed for sleep, if you aren’t asleep within 30 min, get out of bed and do something relaxing 
  • If you want to change your sleep times, make gradual adjustments by an hour or two as to not disrupt your schedule 

Sleep hygiene is not the same for everyone so make gradual adjustments to see what works best for you. Improving sleep hygiene will not fix all sleep disturbances. If you are someone who experiences sleep disorders, such as insomnia or sleep apnea, better sleep hygiene in conjunction with other treatments are likely necessary so talk to your doctor to see what is the recommended course of treatment. 

Written by: Geetha Pokala LPC-Associate Supervised by Kirby Schroeder LPC-S, LMFT-S


Losing A Pet

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.”

Anatole France

I’ve always been an animal lover from an early age. There was always something about animals that has continually drawn me in. I love looking into the eyes of an animal and knowing they see me too as my raw authentic self. Animals see us for who we are – truly human. They not only see us as our authentic selves, but they also harness a great capacity to love us just as purely as they see us. It’s a beautiful relationship that is unexplainable, intangible, and yet more real than many of our human relationships.

I was 23 when I got my first dog on my own. As soon as I saw her big brown eyes, I knew she was meant to be mine. Heidi was full of spunk and energy. She had a rough start to her life, and she was unsure of how to trust other humans and animals. I knew, under all that fear,  she had a big open heart and was yearning for the opportunity to be taught basic needs like love, safety, and companionship. We set out on our own adventure together, just her and I. Over the years we conquered many fears and had many laughs. She gained a few furry siblings and learned how to be a great big doggy sister. Her intelligence was unmatched as she learned commands, tricks, and even found her own way home after a Beyonce concert (That’s a story for a different post!)

Similarly to human relationships, our relationships with our furry companions also come to an end. The death of a pet is a very real, painful, and surreal experience, much like grieving a person, marriage, or job loss. The transition of losing a pet is incredibly challenging and often misunderstood. Unfortunately, I’ve had to walk this journey recently as Heidi has made her transition across the Rainbow Bridge. In my grief, I’ve noticed several things that were really crucial for me in my healing process. 

Self Care Is A Must

I can’t stress this enough – please take care of yourself in the same way you would if you were experiencing a loss of any other kind. Your body and soul will require comfort and nourishment during the time after the loss of your animal. You may find yourself feeling tired, tearful, sad, angry, confused…. All of which are normal and valid experiences of grief. Allow yourself time and space to operate at a lesser capacity than normal. Try to get an extra few hours of sleep, or have a satisfying comforting meal. Some other examples of self care for people include meditations, exercise, tending to a garden, reading a book, seeing a therapist, or journaling. Whatever your form of self care is, utilize it and allow extra time in your day for more than normal. Be kind to yourself in this tough time. 

Reach Out For Support

Grief is an incredibly isolating experience. Each person’s grief is solely their own, both in the way it is experienced and the way it is processed. However, there are people around to lean on during that time. Take advantage of your loved ones who are ready to support you in your own process. When Heidi passed, I knew there was nothing anyone could do or say to fix the pain I was feeling, but the outpouring of love and support was so helpful in those first few weeks. I had people reach out via text and snail mail to send their condolences and favorite memories of Heidi. Friends showed up with dinner at my home and sent cookie care packages to show they care. I definitely needed that love and support in that time, and I am so grateful I had people in my support system show up for me. I made sure to connect with friends and family who had also experienced the loss of a pet to feel understood and validated in my feelings, and I created boundaries around those who I felt may not have understood as well. It’s perfectly okay to limit time and energy with those who aren’t as supportive to protect your own well being and health. Set kind and firm boundaries with yourself and others around the support you need in your grief. 

Find Ways To Honor Their Memory

Just as we hope to have meaning with our own lives, it’s important to honor the meaning our pets’ lives have for us as well. Finding creative ways to honor your animal’s journey and the love you shared can be incredibly healing. Some great ideas include planting a memorial tree or garden, donating some money in their name to a local animal shelter, painting a rainbow and portrait on a canvas, or creating a digital scrapbook with pictures and videos of your life together. Create a tangible way to revisit all of your special memories with your beloved furry family member so you’ll always have a piece of them with you. 

Losing an animal is never easy. My heart goes out to those who are struggling with the loss of a pet. You deserve to be held in tenderness and compassion during your grief. Be sure to seek out counseling if you believe you could benefit from extra support and coping skills regarding the loss of your pet. There are some great resources available for those who are grieving over the death of an animal that I have found incredibly helpful during this time. 

Books: 

Always By My Side: Life Lessons from Millie and All the Dogs I’ve Loved – Edward Grinnan

Dog Heaven – Cynthia Rylant

The Loss Of A Pet – Wallace Sife

Podcasts:

The Pet Loss Podcast

Healing Pet Loss Podcast

Written by: Sara Balkanli, LPC-Associate Supervised by Lora Ferguson, LPC-S


1 2 3 4 7