There is a debate as to whether home is a physical place or a feeling. Dorothy captures this desire to fill the void of feeling distant, whether it be mentally or physically, when she recites, “There’s no place like home” (Fleming, 1939, 1:39:01). Home is the feeling of warmth, understanding, and inner peace. How do we capture the essence of home when we are far from it? Whether it be a vacation, work trip or a new residence, feeling at home is essential.
What is a part of your home?
Think to yourself, aside from the physical structure, what else is a part of your home? Loved ones, beloved pets, specific scents, articles of clothing, and certain foods cultivate feelings of familiarity. When moving to a different city, visiting a foreign country or when physically distant from the ones I love, I turn to my phone. It houses resources, enabling me to bring my support system wherever I go. From calling my parents to ordering my favorite foods to my door, my phone is a portal. I can look at photos of my miniature schnauzer when I miss her cuddles, video chat with my best friends, and make to-do lists to feel a sense of structure over my time.
Home can be anywhere, but it requires skills and resources to capture that feeling. Counseling provides clients with the coping skills to be patient and find inner peace. Our lives and the world around us are ever-changing. With teletherapy, you too can be a couple of clicks away from feeling at home.
Fleming, V. (Director). (1939). The Wizard of Oz [Film]. Metro Goldwyn Mayer.
In a world that constantly tries to make you feel like you’re not enough, resting can be a very brave thing.
A few weeks ago, I visited Montana to spend time with my family and friends. As I sat in the cabin on vacation, I was uncomfortably aware of the texts and emails popping up on my phone and going unanswered (first lesson: turn off your email notifications when you’re on vacation).
As our worlds become more and more virtual, the ability to take work with us wherever we go becomes more and more possible. We go on vacation, but why not bring the laptop and work while we’re there? We can be productive anywhere these days, even in a secluded cabin.
There seems to be an unspoken expectation to remain accessible. Always. I mean, who doesn’t have a smartphone these days?
The email notifications pop up. The text messages roll in.
Usually, they’re not all that urgent. And, usually, we attend to them as if they are.
As I pushed away the inner urge to pick up my phone and laptop during the trip (and failed a few times and succeeded a few times), I had several realizations:
Resting can feel awkward and foreign.
Not being readily available to others can feel uncomfortable.
Being present with people in real-time is good for our souls.
Most things can wait.
Yet, we live in a society that hasn’t normalized or encouraged rest and pausing.
And so, even when we find ourselves in remote locations surrounded by peaceful nature, it can feel strange to unplug – like we’re breaking some unwritten rule and wasting our week away in the land of unproductivity.
Here is a case for pausing and why it’s more important than rushing to respond to that text:
1. Your nervous system gets a break.
In 6 Ways to Give your Nervous System a Break, Crystal Hoshaw writes, “The nervous system truly craves space and silence. Every activity is a little stimulating. Truly giving our nerves a break means we’re feeding them the minimum amount of stimulation possible and maximizing rest and rejuvenation.”
2. You get to connect with yourself.
When we pause, we create space for reflection and tuning into how we feel. This leads to less knee-jerk reactions and more thoughtful responses.
3. You get to connect with so many other things:
nature, your meal, your breath, your family.
You take some of your power back.
Taking time to pause helps rewrite the story that says you have to be available to everyone all the time. That’s not true, not healthy and extremely draining.
You give yourself an opportunity to find meaning in more than achieving.
I won’t pretend unplugging is easy. Here are a few small ideas that still have the power to add up to big shifts:
A walk around your neighborhood or in nature without your phone
Putting your phone on airplane mode as you begin or end your day
Taking five minutes to close your eyes and breathe. Even one minute!
Making a conscious decision to respond to non urgent emails and texts at one designated time each day vs scattered throughout the day.
All of these acts allow us to become more intentional with our energy, more grounded in our bodies, and, frankly, more relieved.
You are more than what you do.
I felt that as I listened to the rushing river and the chirping birds. As I stared at the magnificent mountains. As I sipped a cup of tea and tuned into the conversations that were happening right in front of me.
It is no surprise to all of us that electronic devices play a fundamental role in our daily lives and even more so with the pandemic. We use electronics so much in our day-to-day including, but not limited to, communicating with friends and families, online gaming, virtual school, and work meetings. Nonetheless, technology is here to stay. However, one of the most concerning parts of electronic use is how it interferes with our sleep. Research shows that 90% of Americans report using a computer or smartphone device in their bedroom within an hour of trying to fall asleep.
Not only can electronics impede the amount of sleep we get per night, but these glowing screens also emit blue light. “Blue light is a short wavelength type of light that promotes alertness and performance” as noted by the Sleep Foundation. This blue light can also suppress production of melatonin, which is responsible for feelings of sleepiness. Being exposed to blue light during the day can provide energy, improvements in mood, and concentration. Yet the opposite effects occur when we are exposed to blue light in the evening and nighttime as our circadian rhythm (sleep-wake cycle) is disrupted causing us to feel less sleepy than normal at bedtime.
Sources of Blue Light
Video game consoles
What is Sleep Hygiene
Sleep hygiene focuses on healthy sleeping habits during the day and when you go to bed to promote consistent and uninterrupted sleep. What you do during the day, not just an hour before bedtime, affects how well you sleep. Improving your sleep hygiene, can also positively impact your physical and mental health, productivity, and daily habits.
Creating Healthy Sleep Hygiene
Minimize day time naps
Cut down on caffeine during the afternoon and evening
Wake up at the same time no matter when you fall asleep
Set up your bedroom for sleep (comfortable pillows/ mattress, cool temperatures, block out light, noise machine, essential oil diffuser)
Be careful what you watch on TV and how that affects your stress level before your fall asleep
Unplug electronics at least 60 minutes before bedtime
Wind down and do something relaxing an hour before sleep
Only use your bed for sleep, if you aren’t asleep within 30 min, get out of bed and do something relaxing
If you want to change your sleep times, make gradual adjustments by an hour or two as to not disrupt your schedule
Sleep hygiene is not the same for everyone so make gradual adjustments to see what works best for you. Improving sleep hygiene will not fix all sleep disturbances. If you are someone who experiences sleep disorders, such as insomnia or sleep apnea, better sleep hygiene in conjunction with other treatments are likely necessary so talk to your doctor to see what is the recommended course of treatment.