Archive of ‘Counseling’ category

Anxiety in Children: When Should You Seek Help? (Part 2 of 2)

For a reminder about anxiety in children and what is or is not normal, check out part 1 of 2 of this series.  Hopefully, this will give you as a parent, some better ideas on how your child is doing and how to differentiate normal & abnormal anxiety and stress management. If you’re still worried about your child and feel they are displaying more than what is typical for a kid their age, read on to determine when you should seek help.

Anxiety-Related Red Flags

As a parent, the main thing to keep in mind when trying to establish if your child needs extra help managing their anxiety is how it is affecting your child’s functioning. What your child is having anxiety about may be a developmentally appropriate subject, but the level of anxiety and suffering may be problematic. For example, your preteen might be worried about how she is going to do in her band recital. This is a normal response to a novel situation. However, if your child is not sleeping because of her nervousness, is overly emotional about the event, she is avoiding the event, or cannot be reassured, then it might be time to seek professional help for your child.

Other issues to look out for when identifying anxiety in your child are headaches, stomachaches, nausea, vomiting and sleeplessness. These anxiety symptoms can last for months at a time. Symptoms can include clinginess, heightened emotionality, tantrums, difficulties concentrating or making decisions, as well as excessive anger or irritability. Children suffering from anxiety seem to be pessimistic, have catastrophic thoughts, and unreached perfectionistic ideals. Reassurances from caregivers is often not enough to calm down a child whose anxiety is out of their control.

As seen above, these symptoms are definitely interfering with a child’s day to day life. Another aspect of anxiety can be more difficult to initially notice. People pleasing and perfectionism are insidious ways that anxiety can manifest. These are generally seen as good qualities, but can be extremely distressing to your child if they never feel like they are good enough. If you notice your child “blowing up” over events that seem out of proportion, it could be a sign of perfectionism anxiety.

What to Expect from Therapy

Your child’s therapist will likely want to first meet with you to discuss all the concerns you have about your child. Once your child begins therapy, she will have a safe space in which she can discuss, through play or activities, the anxiety she is experiencing. Your child’s therapist will also equip you and your child with new skills to handle the anxiety when it feels too big. Sometimes in therapy the issue gets worse before it gets better, meaning that as your child’s therapist works through the anxiety with your child, your child might act out again. This is a normal process towards healing. Wait out the storm and trust the process. By taking these measure and getting your child to therapy at an early age, you could be saving them from years of detrimental anxiety.

Questions? Feel free to contact Michelle at [email protected]

By: Michelle Beyer, LPC – Intern Supervised by Karen Burke, LPC-S, RPT-S


EMDR 101

Maybe you have heard about EMDR and you are curious about what it is or if it may be a good fit for you? EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. It essentially mimics the processing that occurs during REM sleep to help your brain reorganize and heal difficult memories and “unstick” negative beliefs. This is done by administering bi-lateral stimulation through eye movements or tappers – helping both hemispheres of your brain to “turn on” at the same time while processing a memory.

Now, if you are like me, this may sound too easy or maybe just too woo-hooey for you. I felt this way also when I first heard about EMDR… and I am a trained professional in this field! But let me bring you some support as to why this works. For the ease of understanding, let’s think of your memory network like a filing cabinet and the information your brain gathers as pieces of paper. In “normal” daily situations, our brains take in mass amounts of information and filter it through a process to collect necessary data, file it where it needs to be accessed appropriately, and gets rid of what we do not need to keep. However, when we are under threat or a high stress event occurs, the processing gets interrupted and information gets stored incorrectly. When this happens, it causes distress, flashbacks, dysfunctional beliefs, and triggers.

In a controlled manner, EMDR allows you to bring up the triggering pieces of paper, encourages the brain to look and re-identify it, and then correctly files it where it needs to go. By reprogramming the traumatic memory, you remove the upsetting emotions that come with it and it will become neutral or even positive!

Please understand that this does NOT take away experiences or make lessons learned from the event non-existent. It simply removes the real-time distress and anxious responses from it. This is still part of your story and part of what has shaped the positive aspects of who you are- but the negative effects no longer need to follow you.

EMDR is a gentle option to treatment. It is most known for working with traumatic memories, but it is also great for when you feel “stuck” and can not seem to get around harmful patterns or negative beliefs. If this is you, EMDR might be perfect to refile those papers and get you back on track!

By: Grace Shook, LPC


The Practice of Gratitude

With December marking the end of the year, it is natural to reflect on what kind of a year you’ve had. I encourage having reflections that include gratitude’s and appreciations; it is imperative reflect on the positive things that have occurred over the past year. Having that perspective on how you have seen growth and change, or maintenance and consistency, in a positive light can reduce stress and anxiety and make it easier to reflect with a positive outlook in the future.

I’ve heard the different perspectives of positive and negative described as a cloudy lens and a sunshine lens. I love the simplicity that provides as a visual because looking at your past year in a cloudy lens could lead to feeling sad, conflicted, and unmotivated. This cloudy lens has the ability to reach in all areas of life and makes it hard to find those sunshine moments. Looking through a sunshine lens doesn’t mean negative and bad things don’t occur, rather a sunshine lens means choosing to find something that you are grateful for, no matter how big or significant that something is. Examples could be feeling grateful that you survived your day, you went to a concert, hanging out with close friends, or ending your day with a nice hot bath.

To start a gratitude practice, set yourself up for success. Choose a time during your day that you can have 5 minutes to reflect. Once you have your daily time scheduled, reflect on one thing of gratitude. Just one. If you think of more, that’s great! But only start with one, so that way you feel encouraged to continue this gratitude practice. Once you feel like your reflection time has become consistent, then move up to listing three to five items of gratitude.

Practicing gratitude is like building strength in a muscle. It takes time and consistency to see growth and change in how your perspective shifts from a cloudy to sunshine. I hope with the reflection of this past year, you are able to find those moments that you truly appreciate and are grateful for!

Julie Smith MA, LMFT-A under the Supervision of Kirby Sandlin Schroeder, LPC-S, LMFT-S Senior Clinician at Austin Family Counseling


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