Archive of ‘Self-Care’ category

How to Find a Good Fit with a Counselor

The journey to finding a counselor can feel very overwhelming. There are internet search, phone calls, and insurance questions…it’s already hard enough, but then when you add in the personal connection counseling requires, it makes it feel like an even harder to-do. Sometimes people are pretty lucky and they find a counselor that checks all the boxes:

  • They have a license. CHECK! (That is pretty important after all AND is a requirement when seeing anyone in a professional capacity).
  • They are in your budget. CHECK!
  • They have your specific need listed in their specialties. CHECK!

They even have a great smile…AWESOME! But what about your feelings when you are actually with them?

The relationship & rapport you have with your therapist is imperative. So here are some additional qualities to think about in your search for a counselor to help find the best fit for you. 

Ask yourself what you are missing from other loved ones in your life.

Think about who you have in your life: friendships, family, relationships, work colleagues, etc. What do these people have in common in the way they connect with you and what might be missing? Do you need more accountability? More warmth? More validation? Your counselor’s nature and approach might need to meet a type of connection that is lacking elsewhere.

How do you feel when you think about being vulnerable? 

Vulnerability is challenging in any situation with almost any person (just ask Brene Brown), but does it feel do-able with this individual? Do they feel trustworthy, dependable, or safe to you? Being clear about what you want to work on will help you filter if this therapist will be able to meet your counseling goals early on. Notice their reaction and response when you are open. If you do not feel comfortable, they are not the right one.

Can you ask for what you need from your counselor? 

Maybe you REALLY like this counselor but they sometimes talk too much or too long. Maybe they don’t talk enough, and it feels like you are talking to a brick wall. Tell your counselor what you are or are not needing. They should be able to hear this and make a correction. After all, this is YOUR time, not theirs.

How is your counselor’s nature?

Are they motherly? More serious? Do they act like your old BFF? Whatever you are needing, look for a vibe that feels comforting to you. You need to be at ease for the hard work you are about to do.

In the quest for looking for a counselor, I generally recommend asking for a 15-20 min consultation call. (Note that not all counselors offer consultation calls–and that’s also okay). This helps give you a feeling for these things to filter out the easy no’s. Schedule with someone you feel most confident about. Go to the session. Trust yourself. If it is an easy no – don’t reschedule. If you are not sure – I recommend going at least 3 times before making a decision. This allows time for you to become more comfortable and for the therapist to show what most sessions will likely look like. 

Written by: Grace Shook, LPC

5 Categories of Self-Care

Self-care is a buzz word in today’s culture. Sometimes we don’t know where to being when trying to take care of ourselves in our busy world. Below are 5 categories of self-care to help you start out. The great thing is that the act of trying with self-care is a form of taking care of yourself. Take a look at the list and see what you are able to try this week.

Water

Hydrating your body with water has numerous physical and mental health benefits. It is recommended by nutritionists that a person drinks half their body weight in ounces of water each day. So that means if a person weighs 150 pounds, they are recommended to drink 75 ounces of water each day.

Nutrition

Nutrition is all about balance. Every human body has different nutritional needs. Becoming aware of what your body needs with nutrition will help your body function better, your mind to think clearer, and overall your ability to care for yourself increases.

Sleep

The category of sleep can be divided into bedtime routines, how long a person sleeps, and quality of sleep. Looking into how you put yourself to bed can shed light on how you are preparing your body for a good night’s rest. It is recommended that screen time is turned off at least 30 minutes before bedtime. How much sleep and the quality of sleep a person can get is dependent on a lot of factors. Take time to look at how this can be improved for your body, because your sleep pattern is unique to yourself. If quality of sleep feels beyond your control, contact your doctor to get more information.

Activity

Activity is an important category of self-care because of how quickly it addressed both physical and mental health. Activity can be defined as any movement that is more than your body’s resting position. For myself as a therapist, I spend most of the day sitting. Activity for me can be something as simple as standing. When activity turns into exercise this is when your brain pumps all of the happy hormones, like endorphins. Any form of activity is welcomed when trying to add more self-care.

Social

Social activity for self-care is based on what a person needs. Taking time to listen to your body will help you decide what kind of social interactions you are needing. Sometimes a person needs alone time away from the social scene to recharge. Other social needs could be knowing if you need to spend time with friends who are fun and are going to make you laugh, or if you need to spend time with friends who are able to listen and comfort you. Before making plans, take a moment to pause and listen to what your body needs before making a social decision.


Written by: Julie Smith, LMFT-A supervised by (Supervised by Kirby Schroeder MS, LMFT-S

4 Tips for First-Time Parents

I love my children. I really love them. I love them more than almost everything*…including but not limited to: binge watching television, dark chocolate, and uninterrupted sleep. However, I would not be a First-Time-Parent again for anything. The first few days (weeks, months) of parenthood were so overwhelmingly difficult and new for me, that I would rather never visit those dark days again (even if it means a free Beyoncé concert for myself and my best friends).**

* The one thing that I love more than my children is… MYSELF!

** Totally kidding, I would 100% be a First-Time-Parent for a free, personal Beyoncé concert! And, just in case Beyoncé is reading this and wants to schedule my concert, I have compiled a list of 4 tips for making First-Time-Parenthood a little bit better.  

  1. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST. Love yourself by cutting yourself slack; remembering that your hormones are on a very terrible rollercoaster ride; and that this time period is short (and sweet) and will be over SOON! Every waking (and sleeping) moment is about taking care of your sweet new baby, but you cannot nourish your baby without nourishing yourself. Love yourself first.
  2. Implement a No-Google-Rule. Try, try, try your hardest to NOT Google every single fear, concern, thought, or wonder that pops into your mind. You have an OBGYN and a Pediatrician. Call them! Your healthcare providers most always have a nurses’ line. Call it. Ask them. They know a lot. But, you know a lot too. Trust your gut!
  3. Increase your text message data plan. If there was ever a time for a “squad”, it’s now. Text the people in your life that you trust, admire, and make you laugh. Tell them about what’s going on in your new world. They will be so excited to receive a text from you! And, most importantly, if you have friends that are also experiencing First-Time-Parenthood, lean, learn, and love on each other.
  4. Every morning when you “wake up”, make a to-do list and write the following three things down: Brush my teeth, Take a shower, Feed & change my baby. This list is all that matters. These three things will not always go as planned, but on the days they do, celebrate!

I hope these four tips bring a smile to your face. And, remind you to take it one day at a time. You are everything your baby needs and you are perfect!


Written by: Sumati Morris, LPC


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