Archive of ‘Society’ category

Do You Suffer from Religious Trauma?

When you hear the words “religious trauma,” what do you think of? You’re maybe thinking something along the lines of Catholic priests and altar boys. And while that’s certainly one of the most egregious examples of religious trauma, it can be much subtler than that. 

In 1993, Marlene Winell, a psychologist and former Christian fundamentalist, coined the term Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS) to specifically refer to “the condition experienced by people who are struggling with leaving an authoritarian, dogmatic religion and coping with the damage of indoctrination.” The definition has been expanded and now includes spiritual trauma for those who may not have identified with a specific religion (e.g. cults). 

You may be thinking, my religious upbringing wasn’t that bad. And you may be right. But you may want to think about if you’re experiencing any of the following symptoms of RTS:

  • Confusing thoughts and reduced ability to think critically
  • Trouble making decisions
  • Feelings of depression, anxiety, grief, anger, lethargy
  • A loss of a community (family, friends, romantic relationships)
  • Feeling isolated or a sense that you don’t belong
  • Feeling “behind the times” with cultural happenings
  • Experiencing significant shame, guilt and/or low self-esteem
  • Addictive or compulsive behaviors
  • Sexual difficulties
  • “Black and White” thinking (e.g. something is either good or bad; no room for “grey”)
  • Perfectionism
  • Inability to tolerate the distress of participating in any kind of organized religion and avoidance of religious environments, people, and reading material.
  • And many other symptoms of PTSD including nightmares, flashbacks, dissociation, emotional difficulty, etc.

RTS might show up for you in your relationships with others and yourself. For example, you may struggle with being in a relationship with someone from a different religion. Or, you may beat yourself up after doing something that would have been considered “bad” or “evil” in your religion or your family of origin. You may feel uncomfortable being your authentic self in front of loved ones. If you are experiencing this, you are not alone.  

Most people don’t come into therapy to deal with their religious upbringing, but depression, anxiety, relational concerns, etc., may have been how your body has learned to deal with trauma. 

One of the benefits of recovering from religious trauma is that you get to choose whether you practice your faith. (In fact, the freedom to choose your own path in life may be the greatest benefit of all.) You may develop a different, healthy relationship with religion, or you may decide to leave religion behind. You may learn to create or join a community that serves your needs, rather than changing yourself to fit the community. You could develop ways of connecting with something greater than yourself without feeling guilt or pressure to behave a certain way. 

But it may be necessary to work through the trauma to tap into any spiritual growth. 

If you are struggling with religious trauma, you may want to consider speaking with your therapist about it. Research suggests that talk therapy can be one of the best ways to work through religious trauma.


5 Signs Your Child May Be Addicted to Technology

Should I be concerned about my child’s screen time?

This is a question I hear frequently. The COVID pandemic caused a significant increase in the amount of time our children spend online each day, and many parents have concerns about their child’s technology use.  In today’s world, it would be nearly impossible to avoid screens entirely (and most people would not want to!), but when is it too much?  At what point should we start to worry about the effects of those hours our kids spend online?

There is No Escaping Technology

Between television, YouTube videos, games like Minecraft and Roblox, virtual communication platforms like Discord, and social media apps like Instagram and TikTok, kids are completely saturated with virtual media.  Even when parents are able to help kids abstain from certain types of technology, the enmeshment of tech into schools, paired with social pressures, makes limiting tech an extremely challenging task.

You Are Not Wrong to Be Afraid

Research on the effects of technology use on the developing brain is not lacking.  There are numerous studies that have returned potentially problematic, even downright concerning results.  A 2019 study that looked at brain scans of preschoolers found that children who used screens longer than the recommended (1 hour per day) had lower levels of development in their white matter – a key area in the development of language, literacy, and cognitive skills.

View that study here.

Additionally, the CDC found that the suicide rate for kids ages 10-14 doubled from 2007-2014 which happened to be the same time that social media use skyrocketed.

But how can parents know how much screen time is appropriate and when to be concerned?

5 Warning Signs that Your Child May be Addicted to Technology

  1. School work is suffering. This one can be tricky to recognize due to the overwhelming challenges the pandemic brought to school aged kids during the most recent academic year.  Take notice if your child’s change in academic performance directly coincides with increased tech use.
  2. Loss of interest in other activities.  If your child once loved playing soccer or creating art, but has lost interest and replaced that passion with a desire for screen time, some intervention may be necessary.
  3. Uncharacteristic aggression when interrupted from screen time. If you notice your child snapping, yelling, or showing uncharacteristic signs of anger when they are interrupted or asked to conclude their tech use, pay attention.
  4. Choosing to spend time online over spending time with friends or family. If your child is turning down social invitations in favor of spending more time online, there may be cause for concern.
  5. Neglecting basic needs or personal hygiene.  If you notice your child failing to care for their own basic needs (getting less sleep, skipping meals), or abandoning personal hygiene such as showering and brushing their teeth due to a preoccupation with screen time, it might be time to take action.

I think my child may be addicted to technology- what do I do now?

The good news is that technology addiction is treatable!  Children’s brains are malleable and interrupting troublesome habits now can help your child to strengthen new neural connections.  Early intervention can set a foundation that will help children learns skills to balance technology use in the future.

There are many strategies to treat mild to severe technology addiction in children and teens.  The first step would be to have a trained therapist assess your child for technology addiction. The National Institute for Digital Health and Wellness has a list of local providers trained to help your child manage technology issues.  There you can also find helpful articles on technology use and its effects on the developing brain.

If you are concerned, or unsure if your child may be struggling to balance their relationship with screens, ask a professional!  These times are difficult to navigate, and you are not alone.  There is plenty of support out there to help you and your child learn skills to manage technology use.

Want to learn more?

“Glow Kids” by Nicholas Kardaras is a great place to start to learn about the effects of technology on kids today.

“Reset Your Child’s Brain” by Victoria L. Dunkley MD has some wonderful guidance on at home interventions for tech addiction


Creating Your Yellow Brick Road

What does it mean to feel at home?

There is a debate as to whether home is a physical place or a feeling. Dorothy captures this desire to fill the void of feeling distant, whether it be mentally or physically, when she recites, “There’s no place like home” (Fleming, 1939, 1:39:01). Home is the feeling of warmth, understanding, and inner peace. How do we capture the essence of home
when we are far from it? Whether it be a vacation, work trip or a new residence, feeling at home is essential.

What is a part of your home?

Think to yourself, aside from the physical structure, what else is a part of your home? Loved ones, beloved pets, specific scents, articles of clothing, and certain foods cultivate feelings of familiarity. When moving to a different city, visiting a foreign country or when physically distant from the ones I love, I turn to my phone. It houses resources, enabling me to bring my support system wherever I go. From calling my parents to ordering my favorite foods to my door, my phone is a portal. I can look at photos of my miniature schnauzer when I miss her cuddles, video chat with my best friends, and make to-do lists to feel a sense of structure over my time.

Finding peace.

Home can be anywhere, but it requires skills and resources to capture that feeling. Counseling provides clients with the coping skills to be patient and find inner peace. Our lives and the world around us are ever-changing. With teletherapy, you too can be a couple of clicks away from feeling at home.

Fleming, V. (Director). (1939). The Wizard of Oz [Film]. Metro Goldwyn Mayer.

written by Marianna Vanillo, M.S., LPC-Associate,
Supervised by Molly McCann, M.S., LPC-S


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