Archive of ‘Communication’ category

4 Things Parents Should Know About Child Therapy

As a therapist who has worked primarily with children for the past two years, a common theme I have noticed with parents and caregivers is their misconceptions and misunderstandings of what the therapy process can look like for children. Therapy for children and therapy for adults is completely different and understanding these differences can not only clear any mistaken beliefs that parents may have about child therapy, but also set realistic expectations for how the therapeutic process may develop. 

1. Communication 

Children cannot always communicate clearly and/or effectively about how they are feeling or what they are thinking in the way verbal adults can. Using words is not the only way that children need or have to communicate in the therapy room. Play therapy is one of the most commonly used modalities when working with children because it relies on play, a child’s natural way of communicating. Play encompasses a wide range of activities, a few being: imaginative play, board games, nature explorations, creative visualizations, storytelling, legos, dancing, and role playing. 

2. Trust and Safety

One of the main duties of a therapist is to establish and maintain safety. Creating a space that is judgment free and accepting is one of the ways therapists strive to create a sense of safety in the therapy room. This can be especially challenging with children because it relies on them to purposefully take down their guard and trust the therapist, which is why therapists spend most of their time focusing on building strong rapport with their younger clients. When a strong therapeutic relationship is created between the client and therapist, it allows for more trust and communication. 

3. Privacy 

It goes without saying that children under the age of 18 are considered minors and because of that their parents are entitled to know anything and everything that happens in session. However, barring any danger or physical harm to the client or to others, some therapists may ask parents to agree to the therapist’s confidentiality rules before they will treat the client. In doing so, therapists are increasing cooperation in therapy, protecting their clients from the risk of abuse, and maintaining a sense of safety and trust in the therapeutic relationship. Some parents may feel concerned about their child’s therapist not telling them everything that transpires in session and that is a valid concern to have. When therapists preserve their clients’ confidentiality and privacy, their intention is not to create a one-sided relationship between client and therapist, but rather to encourage communication and trust in the counseling room, which can then progress to relationships outside of it. 

4. Trusting the process 

It is not always easy for parents to trust in the therapeutic process. Parents are paying for their child to get help and when change does not happen as quickly or acutely as they would like it can be disheartening. Additionally, the idea of not always being able to know what is happening in their child’s therapy can create feelings of separation and disconnection. Ultimately, when parents understand that therapists share the mutual goal of providing help and healing for their child then any concerns or apprehensions about the process can dissolve. 

It is unreasonable for parents to expect their children to openly discuss everything that occurs in session. Children in therapy need to know that what they say or do in therapy will be upheld by confidentiality. If a child knows that what they share in their sessions will be shared with their parents then they would be less willing to attend therapy and get the needed help. Trusting their child’s therapist to share important and general information about the happenings in the therapeutic process is a vital part of the child’s healing and effectiveness of therapy. When an open line of communication is created between parents and therapists, therapists can listen to any concerns that parents have and offer appropriate suggestions which can aid in the healing process. 

Written by: Geetha Pokala LPC-Associate Supervised by Kirby Schroeder LPC-S, LMFT-S


The Container You Create

With the rise of telehealth and the quick ubiquitous implementation of it, and then the long year that has followed; it might be a good time to pause and consider how your therapeutic container is treating you.

One marked benefit of hosting sessions in your own space is the fluidity with which therapy can exist in the midst of your daily life. Being in your space means being around your preferred creature comforts (including possible “therapy animals”). This shift means skipping the commute to the office, creating possible ease in childcare or work/school scheduling. 

There are also noted drawbacks to this technological switch. 

Pre-Covid, there was a certain ritualistic bookending on either end of the session that occurred by way of driving or walking to the office, sitting in the waiting room, then traveling to your next destination. There was inherently a moment for reflection and integration. On the front end, preparation time was available- a review of the week, or of existing material. Post-session, there existed a buffer between what came up in session and whatever real-world situation required your immediate attention. If something difficult arose or trauma processing occurred, that time and space enabled a somatic come-down before the stressors of the day reared their incessant heads.

Now, when working over a telehealth platform, it is not uncommon to jump from work into session then back into life mode, and vice versa. 

Here are some considerations to create appropriate space and get the most out of your sessions and reclaim the quiet spaces that used to buttress session:

– To prepare for session: Dedicate a space in your home for this time. If possible, make sure not to be backlit, and sit in a comfortable seat. Have a glass of water and blanket within reach. Whenever possible, use this dedicated space for each appointment. 

– Ensure you have a sonically private space where there won’t be intrusive noises and no one is within earshot

– Plan for at least 15 minutes prior to the session to prepare. This might look like making some tea, taking a walk, free-writing, or some form of creative expression 

– During the session: turn off your self-view. If using a platform that enables the removal of your tiny thumbnail mirror, I suggest it. Not only is it distracting, but it potentially feeds the part of you that might be tempted to ensure you’re doing therapy “right.” 

– After the session: instead of closing the computer and heading back into your life of working, emailing, parenting, or erranding— make a conscious choice about what this transitional moment looks like. Can you use another 15-minute pause prior to quotidian demands beckoning?

– Grounding both into session and after the session as a form of aftercare is an integral part of this work. You can enlist your therapist for some specifics here based on what you’re working on

Reflect on what this switch has meant for you— what are you missing from in-person sessions? What is working better for you remotely? The space itself, no matter its iteration, is part of the therapeutic processing—this can be a topic you internally and externally and consciously explore within the therapeutic realm.

Written by: Ash Compton, LMFT-Associate, EMDR-Trained Supervised by Susan Henderson, M.Ed, LMFT-S, LPC-S


Helping Children Process Death During COVID-19

There is no doubt that we are living in unprecedented times, especially now that we have approached one year since COVID-19 arrived to the US. This virus has required us to adjust to so many things at once: uncertainty, constant change, fluctuating emotions and, unfortunately, how to cope with the loss of loved ones, friends, and family. For many adults, death is an unfortunate concept we have had to come to terms with at some point in our lives. However, with children experiencing the devastating effects of COVID-19 every day, death has become an unavoidable topic. The intense grief these young children have felt because of the loss of an immediate or extended family member can be especially difficult for them to process, especially if parents have not had the difficult conversation of explaining what death is and the painful emotions associated with it.  My hope for this article is to provide support to parents and caregivers by outlining relevant information to keep in mind when helping their child process grief and loss during this pandemic.

Explaining Death to Your Child

First things first is to tell the truth and be honest with your child, but in an age appropriate way. Children do not need to know every detail of how their loved one died, but it is important to provide essential facts about what happened. Children may also need an explanation of what death is and explaining this process using clear language is key. Everyone may explain death differently, but it is important that you do not use euphemisms, like ‘passed away’ or ‘left us’, because it can leave room for confusion about the permanence and finality of death.  

Death Triggers Many Feelings 

Death can bring up many different emotions for children and grieving a loved one does not look a certain way. Some may cry or be filled with anger, while others may be silent or feel scared. However your child chooses to grieve, it is important that you encourage self-expression and allow them to feel and experience their grief. Experiencing anger, sadness, or any other type of feeling is a part of coping and allows your child to process this painful, but real aspect of life. 

Coping with Death 

Reassurance and continuation of positive experiences can help your child move forward in their grief process. Your child may be worried or scared what might happen to them or other members of your family because of this experience, but reassuring them about the precautions that you are taking to keep everyone safe is important. Resuming fun and enjoyable activities can help support your child’s adjustment, letting them know that life will continue and it is perfectly acceptable to laugh and have fun even during the grieving process. Because COVID-19 has made it difficult to say goodbye to loved ones due to social distancing protocols, it is helpful to find alternative ways to thoughtfully remember the person who died, such as a virtual gathering or the participation of a family ritual. 

Books for Children Experiencing Grief 

Books are not only a wonderful resource to help parents and caregivers explain what death is in an age appropriate way, but also a gentle story can provide comfort to children who have experienced loss. 

Written By: Geetha Pokala LPC-Associate Supervised by Kirby Schroeder LPC-S, LMFT-S

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