Premarital Counseling: Questions to Ask Before You Say “I Do”
As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) specializing in premarital counseling, I’ve seen firsthand the importance of asking the right questions before making a lifelong commitment. I frequently suggest the SYMBIS (Save Your Marriage Before it Starts) assessment as a valuable tool for couples considering premarital counseling.
Premarital counseling helps couples explore important aspects of their relationship and identify areas of strength and growth. Here are the essential questions every couple should ask each other before marriage.
How do you handle conflict?
Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but it’s how you navigate it that matters.
What are your spiritual beliefs and values?
Understanding each other’s beliefs and values is essential for building a strong foundation in your marriage.
How do you envision spending your leisure time?
Talk about your hobbies and interests, and how you’ll balance individual and shared activities.
What are your family backgrounds and dynamics?
Consider your upbringing, family traditions, culture, and any dynamics that may impact your relationship.
What are your financial goals and priorities?
Money can be a significant source of stress in marriage, so it’s essential to be on the same page financially.
How do you prioritize self-care and personal growth?
Share your individual needs for self-care and personal growth, and how you’ll support each other’s emotional well-being.
What are your expectations for intimacy and affection?
Discuss your expectations, desires, and boundaries around physical affection, emotional intimacy, and sexual intimacy.
How do you envision your roles as partners in a committed relationship?
Talk about expectations for household chores, decision-making, and supporting each other’s personal and professional goals.
How do you plan to prioritize and nurture your relationship?
Marriage requires ongoing effort, so discuss how you’ll prioritize and nurture your relationship amid life’s challenges.
These questions are a starting point — but they can pave the way for deeper conversations and a stronger foundation for your marriage. Investing in your relationship before saying “I do” can help set you up for a lifetime of love, growth, and happiness together.
If you feel you may need some assistance with marriage or relationships, please reach out to us at [email protected].