Being A Good Friend in Hard Seasons

Lately, I’ve been reflecting a lot on friendship—specifically what it means to show up for those we care about when we’re struggling ourselves. When we’re carrying grief, heartbreak, or simply navigating a heavy season of life, it can feel nearly impossible to be present in the life of our people. For those of us who deeply value friendship, this sense of disconnection can be especially painful. But here’s something important to note feeling this way doesn’t make you a bad friend—it just makes you human. Here are a few ways you can stay connected and present for your people, even in the midst of your own pain. I hope these insights offer a lifeline for anyone trying to stay close to the people they love, without losing themselves in the process.

1. Let go of the “ideal friend” standard.

This is not the time for perfectionism. You don’t need to be endlessly available, upbeat, or organize every group hangout to be a good friend. In hard seasons, being a good friend might look different—and that’s okay.

2. Be honest (with boundaries).

You don’t have to spill your heart to everyone. But with the people you trust, let them in a little: “I’m in a tough season. I might be slower to respond or not fully myself, but I care about you.” A little honesty builds trust and helps people understand where you’re at.

3. Use small signals to stay present.

Sometimes all you can manage is a quick “thinking of you” text or sending a meme—and that counts. Staying present doesn’t have to mean a two-hour call. Those little touch points remind people you’re still there.

4. Ask for specific support.

Let friends know how they can show up for you: “If you see something funny, send it my way,” or “Can we plan a walk sometime this month?” When you’re specific, it makes it easier for people to love you well.

5. Set boundaries with your energy.

You don’t owe everyone full access. Choose what feels nourishing over what feels draining—and protect your peace. You get to decide who knows what, and how much of yourself you share.

6. Let yourself receive.

This might be a season where you’re leaning more than giving—and that’s okay. Let your people love you. Let them drop off a coffee or check in. Friendship is a cycle. You’ll have your turn to be the strong one again.

7. Trust that quiet friendship is still real friendship.

Even if you’re not as active right now, that doesn’t mean your friendships don’t matter. The right people will hold space for you, even in the quiet.

Being a good friend in a hard season doesn’t mean doing it all or being everything to everyone. It just means being honest, soft, and present in the ways you can—and that is more than enough.