Have you ever heard of the acorn analogy?
It’s the idea that acorns can only grow to the degree that they have been nurtured from nature: sunlight, rain and nutrients from soil. Even if the acorn has a slow start, this soon-to-be oak tree can accelerate in growth and self-esteem any time the proper nutrients are available.
Teenagers are nearly identical in this process. They are doing their best under the conditions in which they are growing. Add a little self-awareness and self-acceptance and you’ll be amazed at how they GROW!
Now as empowering as the acorn analogy can sound, anyone that has been a teenager or is raising one knows that growing into a “strong oak tree” or a human with positive self-esteem takes work! In Empowering Teens to Build Self- Esteem, Harrill highlights important principles that build positive self-esteem in teenagers’ lives. Understanding these 8 fundamentals and encouraging them in your teen’s life can be a wonderful aid as they work to curate acceptance and love for who they are!
1. Acceptance
Accepting yourself with no strings attached is the truest way of embracing YOU. It’s believing you are worthy of respect and have value. Acceptance is the gentlest reminder that you are okay just the way you are (even if you want to change bits and pieces).
2. Look inside yourself to feel good
You must ultimately rely on yourself, not the opinions and actions of others to feel good about yourself. It truly is the only thing you can control. Looking inside yourself means that you look to what you think, believe, value, and perceive to feel good.
3. Drop the value judgment
It’s helpful to drop “shoulds” and “oughts” from your vocabulary. It is irrelevant what you should do or should have done. It is more important to ask yourself what you are and not willing to do it
4. Separate you from your behavior
You can dislike a behavior without disliking yourself. If you have a behavior that is not like you, there may be a reason for that negative behavior. Checking in with your needs in these moments will help make for better choices and behavior in the future.
5. Stop Comparing
You lower your self-esteem if you feel “better than” or “less than” others. You only have to be you! If you must compare, only do it with yourself to gauge your progress and further your goals
6. You are doing your best
You are learning and growing with every experience life gives you. Forgive yourself for mistakes made and take the time to learn and grow from them.
7. You are worthy of unconditional love
Being worthy can not be earned by your accomplishments or behaviors but rather is a gift to be accepted by you and only you. It is your birthright!
8. Take responsibility for your life
Accepting responsibility gives you the power to solve your problems and live your life more fully!
References:
Harrill, Suzanne E., Empowering Teens In Building Self Esteem. Innerworks Publication, June 15, 1996.
Adisyn Jamail, LPC-Associate, Supervised by Susan Gonzales, LPC-S, LMFT-S
