Supporting Your Child Through Big Emotions

June 05, 2025

When emotions run high and answers feel far away, your presence matters most.

As parents, we all want to make things better for our children—especially when they’re hurting. But emotional moments don’t always ask for solutions. Often, what our kids need most is to know they’re not alone in what they’re feeling.

Here’s how to support your child through those big, overwhelming emotions with empathy, presence, and patience.

1. The “Fix-It” Urge is Normal—But Not Always What’s Needed

When your child is upset, the instinct to jump in and fix it is strong. It’s how we show love. But sometimes, the best “fix” is simply showing up with calm, steady compassion. Children—like all of us—need to feel seen before they can start to heal.

Try saying:

“That sounds really hard.”
“I’m here with you, even if we don’t know exactly why this feels so big right now.”
“It’s okay not to have the words yet.”

These small, empathetic responses help build safety and trust, especially when emotions are too big to untangle right away.

2. Why “I Don’t Know” is an Important Clue

When your child responds with “I don’t know,” it doesn’t mean they’re being difficult—it likely means they’re overwhelmed. Big emotions like anxiety, embarrassment, or shame can feel impossible to explain, especially for younger children.

What you can do:

Gently help your child stay in the moment instead of digging for answers.
Model emotional awareness: “Sometimes when I feel upset and don’t know why, it’s because I’m tired or something surprised me.”
Be patient. Learning to name and process emotions is a skill that develops over time.

3. Progress Can Look Quiet or Slow

You might not always see obvious signs of emotional growth—but that doesn’t mean it’s not happening. Like roots growing underground, emotional skills develop slowly and quietly, nurtured by safety and connection.

Encourage growth by:

Allowing your child to feel without needing to explain or “fix” it right away.
Creating emotionally safe spaces where it’s okay to not be okay.
Noticing and celebrating the small wins: a calm moment, a brave share, or just staying present.

These moments matter more than you think.

4. Your Role: From Fixer to Companion

You don’t need to have all the answers. In fact, you don’t even need to say the “perfect” thing. What your child needs most is your curiosity, your calm, and your consistent presence.