Caring for a newborn is an adjustment for the entire family. As a parent of two under two, I understand the challenge of making time for my toddler while caring for my newborn. The newborn phase demands so
much physically and emotionally on top of parenting another child. My struggle was finding ways to care for my newborn without excluding my toddler. With much trial and error, I figured out a few helpful tips to make this new transition easier. It is possible to make your older child a part of newborn routines, and involving them from the start can create more confidence, self responsibility, and empowerment in your
toddler as they settle into being an older sibling.
Small Manageable Tasks
Children love being helpful little people. It gives them the feeling that we trust them. When you give your child a task that involves them in caring for your newborn, you show them that they are not only important, but also part of this bonding process between you, your newborn, and your toddler.
A few examples of a manageable task could be:
Can you bring me a burp cloth for the baby ?
Will you help me find a toy for the baby to look at ?
Can you throw this diaper away for me ?
Compliments and Appreciations
People of all ages, not just toddlers, appreciate hearing positive things about themselves. The next time your older child is nearby, say loudly and proudly to your newborn what a stellar sibling they are. Letting your toddler “overhear” you talk about them in a complimentary way can give them a little boost when they’re still getting the hang of sharing toys, time, and attention. When they hear you affirm their kindness, patience, or helpfulness, it reinforces that they are still seen and loved during this period of change.
Carve Out Intentional Time
Caring for a newborn requires a lot of time, energy, and attention, and your toddler notices that. There is no blame or shame when you catch yourself focusing mostly on your newborn. However, it can be a gentle reminder that during these early weeks and months of your toddler learning life as an older sibling, they may need extra reassurance from you. Spending one on one time with your toddler, without the baby, signals to them that they matter, even if life has felt a little hectic lately. Doing a fun activity like making homemade play dough or going outside for a tea party are simple ways to help your child feel special.
Make Feedings a Bonding Activity
Feeding your newborn takes up a large part of the day and can sometimes lead to time spent away from your older child. Make it a bonding experience for all of you by asking your child if they would like to read their sibling a book or show them how a favorite toy works. You can also have a set of special toys that are only used during feedings to help prevent frustration or misbehavior when your attention is divided.
Extra Extra Snuggles
It is easy to get caught up in newborn tasks with endless bottle washing, diaper changes, and everything in between. All of these things add up and unfortunately mean less focused attention on your older child. Take a few, or even many, moments throughout the day to offer extra physical affection. Hugs and kisses can go a long way when you want to show your child how much they mean to you.
To all the parents out there, I want to encourage you to give yourself so much patience and grace as you find your rhythm with your newborn and toddler. You are doing the best you can in this moment to juggle all the moving parts required to maintain a stable and loving home. You’ve got this !
