Holiday Survival Guide – 2020 Edition

It is no surprise that our holiday season is going to look a little… different this year. As we wrap up the last two months of 2020, some may be feeling excitement as their favorite time of the year approaches, while others may be feeling anxious, dread, and sadness as they anticipate the upcoming months. Here are three realistic mental health tips to keep in mind as we enter the 2020 holiday season:

Make decisions that feel best for you.

Everyone has an opinion. Literally everyone. At the end of the day, the most important opinion to listen to when it comes to your decisions is your opinion. How are you feeling about family gatherings this year? When you think of a family gathering, do you feel a pit in your stomach or excitement? Whatever is coming up for you as you ponder upon this thought, honor it. Humans are intuitive by nature and we have an internal compass that helps us navigate through life and the difficult decisions that come with the journey. Different family members may feel differently about family gatherings this year, and that is okay! Avoid letting others dictate what you should (or shouldn’t) do; that is for you to decide. Try to advocate for yourself this holiday season by doing some self-reflection, honoring your feelings, and making (safe) decisions accordingly.

Give yourself time to grieve.

When we think of grief, we often associate it with the passing of someone we love dearly (including our beloved animals friends). Grief is also applicable to other changes in life that are less commonly recognized, such as the ending of a relationship or friendship, moving to a new city, transitioning from high school to college, transitioning from college into the working world, and even the ending of a habit, routine, or aspect of one’s life that was previously enjoyed. The connection between all these events is that they are major life transitions, both expected and unexpected. The COVID-19 pandemic certainly falls under the umbrella of unexpected changes! Once these transitions occur, we then experience an internal understanding that life is not going to be the same moving forward. Grief is a natural response to loss; it is not a comfortable experience, but it is an important part of the life journey for human beings. So, what do we do to help process these heavy, uncomfortable, and confusing feelings? We acknowledge them, feel them, and honor them. For healing to begin, the pain and uncomfortable feelings must be faced and not denied. If denied, the grieving process is prolonged. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to grieve and each individual person has a grieving process that is unique to them. For this reason, do not let anyone tell you how to feel, and do not tell yourself how you should feel either.

Make time for yourself.

Self-care is something that is often talked about yet rarely understood. At its core, it is all about carving out time for yourself to do something that brings you joy. It helps refuel us rather than take energy from us. What do you need to feel your best? Is it exercise, quiet reading time, or just a moment to sit in quiet? Self-care doesn’t have to consume hours of time, simply being aware of what you need to feel your best and being intentional about carving out time to make it happen over the course of a week, may be the act that you need to remind yourself that no matter what happens, you have your own back.

With this in mind, know that there is no “right” way to do the holidays this year other than what feels right for you and those you love. We must remember to respect the decisions of others without judgement and apply this same understanding and respect to ourselves. If you are feeling on the fence about making a decision or don’t quite know what your comfort level is just yet, check out this helpful article by the CDC regarding how to safely gather this holiday season. Well wishes and safety to everyone this holiday season.

Written by: Taylor Vest, LPC-Intern Supervised by Karen Burke, LPC-S, RPT-S