The topic of love languages typically comes up in the context of romantic relationships, but it’s just as valuable when it comes to building and maintaining a positive and loving relationship with your child! While it’s always helpful to keep in mind, it’s especially important to consider as your kiddos are nearing the end of the school year, when motivation is at an all time low and stress, anxiety, and depression are at an all time high. Here are some ways to cater to your child’s love language and give them the extra boost they need to finish out the school year strong!
Words of Affirmation
This is a great one to boost self-esteem in your child and help them feel supported. While you may think, “they know I love them” or “they seem to be doing great – I don’t need to check in”, consistent verbal or written affirmation serves as a good reminder to show you care. Here are some examples across different categories of affirmations:
Validation & Respect
- How can I support you this week?
- I value your opinion on this.
- It makes sense why you feel that way.
Effort & Character
- I’m so proud of the effort you put into that.
- You showed a lot of maturity when you…
- I appreciate how _____ you are.
- Thank you for being so hardworking.
Confidence & Capability
- I trust your judgement.
- You have a really great attitude/perspective.
- I know you will get this done/figure this out.
Unconditional Love & Security
- I’m so happy to be your parent.
- I’m always here for you no matter what.
- Our family wouldn’t be the same without you.
Quality Time
If quality time is particularly important for your child, make sure to involve your kiddo in the decision making and provide your undivided attention (no phones).
- Watching a favorite show or movie together.
- Having a routine chit chat time at the end of the day.
- Going on a one-on-one “date” (this is especially important if your child has to share attention with siblings).
- Exercising together.
- Family game night.
Physical Touch
Of course, everyone’s comfort level with physical touch differs. You know what your child prefers, or pay attention to their body cues!
- Affectionate gestures – bear hugs, cuddle time, high fives, etc.
- Sensory/Play – back pats, piggy back rides or soothing touch like back scratches or brushing hair.
Gift Giving
This doesn’t mean a big or expensive item. It’s showing your child that you pay attention and are thinking about them during the day! Here are some thoughtful ways to give gifts that speak to your child’s love language:
- Their favorite treat.
- An item they’ve been needing.
- Something that represents one of their favorite things (color, sport, tv show, book, etc.).
- A special outing to a favorite place.
Acts of Service
I’m a little biased with this one since it’s my favorite, but acts of service are a great way to lighten your child’s load, which likely feels pretty overwhelming this time of year!
- Making them their favorite comfort meal.
- Helping them clean a messy room.
- Working with them to create a game plan for a heavy school workload.
- Taking care of one of their chores.
- Assist them with a project they’re working on.
While your child would likely appreciate any of these prior examples, it’s important to identify what their love language is if you’re not sure. We’ve all experienced the stressors at the end of a school year, so let’s support them through the rest of the year so they can finish strong with their heads held high!
Written By: Kennedy Lor, LPC
