If you’re in a position where you are caring for both your children and parents, you’ve likely felt the push and pull from both directions: young children needing your energy and attention, and aging parents needing your help, advocacy, and often, your emotional labor. Both are deeply needing your care. As a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT), I witness how deeply rewarding this caregiving labor is—and yet how exhausting it can become to find balance.
People in the “sandwich generation” report higher levels of role overload, emotional strain, and financial stress compared to non-caregivers (Lei, Leggett, & Maust, 2023). You might feel like you’re constantly triaging — should I feed the kids, manage the doctor’s appointment, return a work email, or help my parent with mobility today? You’re not alone, and the burden matters.
To maintain your well-being while sustaining care for others, self-care is crucial. Here are a few practices that can support your well-being and help fill your cup to balance all you pour into others.
Schedule micro self-care breaks. Even ten minutes of stepping outside, deep breathing, or listening to a favorite song can reset your stress levels.
- Seek support where it’s available—big or small. You don’t have to handle every chore, errand, or moment of care on your own. Seek out sources of support; sharing tasks with siblings, neighbors, or trusted friends, or look for community resources (listed below). Even small steps, like automating bill payments or setting app reminders, can ease the load and create a little more breathing room.
- Use transition rituals. Give yourself a clear “shut-off” ritual (e.g. journaling, sipping tea, going for a walk) when caregiving “ends” for the day. This helps your nervous system transition and prevents constant alert-mode.
- Stay connected with peers. Whether via a caregiver support group, a trusted friend, or an online forum—even fifteen minutes of venting or sharing strategies with someone who “gets it” can be therapeutic.
- Practice emotional check-ins. Use a scaling system (“On a scale of 0 to 10, how stressed/sad/angry am I?”) daily. If you notice creeping despair or exhaustion, that’s a signal to slow down, and perhaps reach out for help sooner rather than later.
Here are local and Texas-based resources to help you (and your parent) plug into support for seniors and caregivers.
- Texas Health & Human Services – Support for Caregivers. They offer resources for respite care (when someone else helps care for your loved one), training and planning, and a resource directory.
- Aging and Disability Resource Centers. They provide personalized help and guidance around long-term care options.
- Alzheimer’s Texas / Alzheimer’s Association. If dementia is a factor, these groups provide caregiver support, education, and local support group listings.
- AGE of Central Texas. They offer resource navigation, support groups, caregiver courses, and free/low-cost programs.
- VA Caregiver Support. If your parent is a veteran, reaching out to a VA caregiver support coordinator can unlock benefits, training, or supplemental services.
- 2-1-1 Texas. Connects callers to local services, including aging and disability resources.
- Family Eldercare. nonprofit offering support for people caring for both children and aging parents. Provides caregiver support groups, resource navigation, and respite options.
Here are local and Texas-based resources to help support parents of young children.
- Partners in Parenting (PIP). Offers inclusive, facilitator-led support groups for new parents focused on emotional well-being, connection, community, and navigating early parenthood.
- Postpartum Support International – Texas Chapter (PSI Texas). Provides support and referrals for postpartum depression and anxiety, including free support groups, warmline services, and help finding perinatal-trained clinicians.
- Any Baby Can. A nonprofit offering parenting education, early childhood development support, home visiting, early intervention services, and family counseling at low or no cost.
You carry a lot on your shoulders. Give yourself the same compassion, planning, and care you so generously extend to others. You don’t have to “do it all,” and sometimes the strongest move is asking for support, taking a breath, and scheduling yourself into the care plan you deserve.
References
Lei, L., Leggett, A. N., & Maust, D. T. (2023). A national profile of sandwich generation
caregivers providing care to both older adults and children. Journal of the American Geriatrics Society, 71(3), 799–809. https://doi.org/10.1111/jgs.18138
Written By: Janet Mize, LMFT
