3 Things You Can Do To Encourage Your Husband/Partner To Speak Up About Their Sexual Health Without Fear

Although studies estimate that 15-20 percent of men deal with sexual issues, the overwhelming fear and shame of speaking about it continue to haunt them. In fact, shame is also a key reason behind 60 percent of men avoiding doctor visits. In a recent AARP survey, one in five men admitted they weren’t honest with their physicians, mainly due to the embarrassment of discussing certain issues, including their sexual health. However, by taking steps to encourage the man in your life to open up about their sexual health and concerns without the fear of judgment, you can begin to take the first steps in preparing for a successful marriage and lifelong relationship.

Time The Conversation, Mood And Location Well

Picking the perfect time to have a conversation about their sexual health is crucial to having a productive conversation. This is because you want to choose a time where you are both receptive and ready to listen to what each other are saying. For most couples, setting aside a time to discuss it normally helps. You can also help your partner feel more at ease by maintaining a calm and positive tone during the conversation. Efforts to help them feel more comfortable with intimacy of all levels will help them relax and be honest with you. You can do this by encouraging your husband/boyfriend, and setting aside designated time for intimacy. 

Reaffirm The Positives Of Your Relationship And Commit To Exploring Solutions Together

By focusing on the positives of your relationship, you can help your partner feel reassured in the bond that you have. Instead of focusing on the negative emotions surrounding sexual health, stick to the issues and potential solution, opting for a more positive ‘can-do’ attitude. It is also important to remain positive throughout the conversation by reassuring them that there are solutions to sexual health issues out there, and that you are committed to exploring any issues they have raised together.

This added support may turn out to be the boost they need to speak to their doctor about erectile dysfunction, performance anxiety, or any other sexual conditions that warrant medical help. There are hundreds of solutions out there for sexual issues, and they do not always include medication. In addition to a healthy diet, exercise, and couples’ mediation techniques, your partner can boost their nutrient intake to reduce nervousness. With so many studies showcasing the effects of stress and anxiety on the body, chances are that focusing on improving these can greatly help your partner with his sexual health. As a bonus, it may help them feel more comfortable, since the solution may not involve going to a doctor.

Practice Non-Judgmental Listening And Conversational Techniques

Communication is key in any relationship. However for a sensitive conversation to be truly productive, it must be free of judgment and assumptions. The alternative is that due to the fear of being judged, your partner opts to not be completely honest with you or engage in conversations about your sex life at all. This is particularly relevant if there is an issue of conflict in the bedroom. Research has shown that people avoid conflicts because it either presents a threat to their relationships, partner or themselves. However, with the use of non-judgmental listening, you can soothe those fears and encourage the man in your life to be truthful about his sexual health, shortcomings and all.

To Master Non-Judgmental Communication, Focus On Avoiding A Fault-Based Way Of Thinking

A great non-judgmental communication technique to use is the DUAL Method, penned by Leo Babauta. This recommends that you avoid passing judgment and become more self-aware before practicing empathy and understanding; accept the differences in your partner’s point of view; and embrace the good that comes with their sexual revelations. For instance, the positives of having your partner open up about performance anxiety include better communication of sexual needs and the chance to pursue a remedy as a couple. Pay attention to your non-judgmental cues in the conversation as well. These can be just as telling as your words.

Sexual health and fulfillment is a key part of satisfaction and happiness in any relationship. While men can find it difficult to open up about their sexual health, there are ways you can encourage them to do so. By creating a safe space and maintaining an emphatic and non-judgmental attitude, you can begin to build a stronger and more intimate relationship.

By: Issy Lovett

After an initial career spent as a sexual health nurse, Issy turned to writing to make a living and now pens articles on topics relating to sexual health and the anxieties it can create. She believes strongly in talking therapies as a way to help overcome issues, after experiencing her own struggles with mental health. Issy now lives with her girlfriend and their pet dog Barney.